Well hello there deviantART. It's been a long time since I last wrote a journal, but this morning, I feel the need to splurge my feelings onto the internet. This morning is monumental for me as it is the first morning I have woken up in my new home. That's right, I have finally moved out of my dad's house and am living with a friend. I know my last journal (from just under a year ago) was possibly the bleakest thing I've written on here and it centred around yet another big fight with my dad, please do not worry, this move is of my own accord and not from the war between me and him.
So, here I sit, just finished a cup of tea on a Saturday and no longer a child living at home. The rest of my life lies ahead of me and I am prepared to embrace it fully. 2013 has been pretty difficult though, some heavy family stuff that I won't go into has dogged me since the early months but now that is, at long last I might add, moving towards a conclusion and being finished, but aside from that one negative thing, life has been picking up.
No longer am I unemployed. I have a job and I have a direction for my life. For the first time I know without a shadow of doubt just what it is I need to do with my life. I've always wanted to make a mark on the world, not for egocentricism but for it being the one feeling I've had about myself I've known to be true. Now, I know how I need to do that. There is, and has always been, one thing that I love more than anything else and that is the participation and creation of fictional worlds in all regards. From reading to acting, from tabletop roleplaying games to playing a Final Fantasy, these worlds that are new and different and exist outside of… well, us. Hanging around with my new housemate before actually moving in with him has helped push my mind into thinking about who I really want to be. These past few months have been some of the best of my life. I say that with full honesty.
The story itself is, I feel, truly incredible. A demonstration of the coincidence that is fate. Me and a friend were going out for a drive one night, the friend asked if he could invite someone else from where he worked so I said yes. This person was my to be housemate. We got along well, with similar interests and intelligence and I came away from that meeting feeling that he was the sort of friend I've been ready to have all my life. So, we solidified our friendship, and through him I met another person, an artist who is happy to work with me on creating a graphic novel. Yet again, the coincidence that is fate.
And so, I moved house and now I life with my best friend. Who is designing a video game. That I am helping with. I'm finally feeling like my life is going in the right direction and, more to the point, like I know what direction that even is. I want to create worlds in any and every form I can. I want to involve myself in the demonstration of fictional worlds in every way. And I've never known that until recently, I've always been certain I wanted to act or to direct films or do this or that and it never occurred to me that it was my narrow-mindedness that was why I could never settle on one path and why I lacked the commitment to any one direction. This though, this is what I was born to do.
I even rediscovered how much I love to read through my housemate before he was my housemate. I lent him one of my favourite series, The Demon Cycle by Peter V. Brett if you were interested, and it really cemented our friendship and that in turn reignited my spark for reading and my appreciation of it. I think actually, it was my hype of how good the series is to try and persuade him to read it that helped me focus on how much I love worlds in general and how I want to be a part of the creation of them.
So, on that note of triumph, I will sign off from the journal. The end of an era and in turn, the beginning of one. The rest of my life begins now and I will make every single second worth it.
Sam Aitken, over and out.